This thought-provoking book, subtitled “how good intentions and bad ideas are setting up a generation for failure”, looks at colleges campuses and identifies three ideas that are seen as truths for today’s youth that, if believed, inhibit mental, emotional and intellectual growth and health.
First, the idea of fragility: whatever hurts you makes you weaker. Contrary to time tested wisdom (whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger), this new bad idea, according to the authors, justify parental helicoptering and keeps children from building natural resilience to stressors that everyone incurs in life. Not only does this idea run counter to traditional thought ideas, it runs counter to scientifically proven cognitive behavioral therapy methods. The authors argue that human beings are not like glass objects, needing to be handled carefully, but rather like muscles that must be used and tested to become stronger.
Second, the authors argue that young adults are taught to always trust their feelings. Again, running counter to CBT and other theories (mind over matter), where the value of rational and calculated thinking is valued, the idea that first feelings are to be trusted over empirical and logical evidence erodes mental and emotional health and blocks connection between individual and disparate groups.
Finally, the youth of today are taught that life is a battle between good people and evil people. This dichotomous thinking prevents an openness to new ideas and makes every interaction a us versus them zero sum game. Rather than encourage this idea, compassion, exposure to different cultures, ideas and points of view can enrich culture and society, but with a good versus evil frame of reference, anything not seen as “like me” becomes evil, furthering the political, social and cultural divide.
This book takes a deep dive into how these bad ideas play out in different ways; how they were initiated by well meaning, but unsubstantiated theories; and how to question and reconsider these new points of view that is leading American youth, and by extension, all of us to greater struggle, less compassion, mental and emotional health issues. There are many ideas to consider and discuss in this book, and while I do not agree entirely with everything that these authors are saying, I did find a lot to consider both in my own life, in raising my daughter and in interacting with others. A worthwhile and thought-provoking book.
Well-Read Neck 